Well it has definitely be awhile since I have done this and I can honestly say I miss keeping a journal, no matter how I do it. First off let me apologise now for any misspelled words or grammar because, one, I really don't care, and two, I have forgotten all that since college. I decided to look back on the last five years or so of my life and I started noticing lots of problems that I have overlooked. As most close to me know that I enlisted in the Marine Corps last April, late in life, for the purpose of doing my duty for my country and for bettering myself. Those six months away did amazing things to me, but once I got back home I began to see the same things popping up. I also saw that the military actually made some things worse and added to the problem. I guess what I am trying to say is today was a day of reflection. A day that I tried to see where I could improve and let me tell you it was a HUGE list.
I once thought that living a honorable life was what was needed to happy and respected but I realized there is much more to it. For my brothers and sisters in arms (military and law enforcement) we often see the worse that life has to offer and then are expected to return to our lives as if nothing happened. Most of us store these memories in the backs of our brains and think about them at the strangest of times. For those that have seen the hell on Earth I think we can honestly appreciate the amazing life we have as Americans. The downfall is we began to develop "hate" and "discontent" for society and even forget about our families and those close to us. Our love ones try to open up and we quickly shut them down and deal with our problems and stresses on our own. We then began to look for ways out or quickly change the subject. For me I have lost more friends over the past years mainly because I forget about them or have just not wanted to go that extra mile. The friends I have made in work are friendships that will last a lifetime but they truly know what we are faced with.
When I enrolled in college it was my goal to become an orthodontist. I want this career because of the money involved. After a successfully career in retail, I soon took a huge pay cut to do a job I love. In doing that I truly do have a job I love, but I also had to give up on many of my dreams of having money or being successfully. As I reflect back, I know that we cannot take Earthly possessions with us and I have come to except that. On the other hand it would be nice living on the lake right now and firing up the new wakeboard boat in the morning for a quick session before work.
OK, so after rambling a bit, it boils down to this. I woke up late for church today and work was fairly slow. So, this gave me plenty of time to reflect. I realized that there were so many things that I continued to overlook on myself. I heard Toby Keith's song "My List" and it truly hit the heart. The Marine Corps core values are: Honor, Courage, and Commitment. So my goals over the next few weeks are to write in here and continue to seek self improvement. I recommend everyone list to that song....it may touch you like it did me!!
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